1
Microwaved coffee
Nothing much to write about
Unicorn Haikus
2
Wind blowing branches
Unicorns in the distance
Raining Pixie Stix
3
What is that wet spot
Sticky and rainbow-colored
Unicorn Spittle
4
Beneath the blood moon
No longer eating candy
Zombie Unicorns
Last night I was visited by a grand golden unicorn. He stood before me in a halo of light. His sliver horn shimmering atop a luxurious ivory mane. I sat speechless and in awe, as he slowly stepped toward me. His legs were muscular, yet supple. His movements elegant and regal. On his left shoulder I noticed two small tattoos, an Indian Chief playing the bongos, and below that, the words “spring break 2008,” in red gothic lettering.
Before I could say a word, the mythic creature threw his colossal head back and let out the loudest belch I have ever heard. His body convulsed and a tremor rippled through the ground below us. My head rattled and my ears began to ring. My eyes watered, my vision blurred and doubled. And then the beast spoke. His voice was shrill and paper thin — a wispy falsetto. “Can I bum a cigarette,” he rasped.
I told him I didn’t smoke, but he was welcome to a glass of the Dolcetto I’d just opened. “It’s not an expensive bottle, but it’s good,” I explained. The magical unicorn lamented that he had given up drinking and sighed.
After that he told me a few of the dirties jokes I’d ever heard, pausing in between to let out terrifying high-pitched cackles. Then I showed him some pictures I’d taken on my iPhone, which led to sharing our favorite youtube videos for an hour or so.
Suddenly my new friend announced that he had to get going. He wished me the best of luck on my Kickstarter campaign, and regretted that he wouldn’t be able to contribute due to limited income. I told him not to worry. Then he threw a water ballon at me and flew off into the sky.
The air was still, and I could hear my own heartbeat. A dog barked in the distance. A naked moon pulled a cloud over herself.
The internet is probably one of the coolest inventions ever, right up there with jetpacks and string cheese. Well, maybe not as cool as jetpacks, but pretty close.
When I was a boy, I used to pretend I had a super-computer-wristwatch that knew the answers every question I had. I didn’t really expect to grow up and have a phone that did pretty much that!
The danger of the all-knowing-internet is really too much of a good thing. Since you can know anything at anytime you can fall into very deep wormholes. Like, you’re looking up a David Bowie song on Youtube, and that changes to watching scenes from Labyrinth, and before you know it, you’re googling, “furry convention in Atlanta.” It happens.
That’s why it was time from me to take, what my friend John Seay calls, a “media fast.” I needed a little break from my childhood dream come true.
The thing is, we’re constantly consuming information, but most of it is really useless and trivial. Still, it feels like we’re doing something important! At least, it does to me. There’s an urgency about my day when I’m plugged in all the time. It turns out, when you step away for a while, you see just how very little of it is necessary.
I’ve had some time to slow down now, settle into the moment. Honestly, it feels great. I’d recommend it to anyone…
That is, after you read all my blogs, and check out my Facebook page! Really important stuff going on there! Do it!
In other words: I’m back.
Eliot
PS. Hal says you need to check out my Kickstarter page too!
Greetings people reading my blog,
As you may have already figured out, my epic blog train has skipped the tracks and crashed somewhere in the corn fields of my brain. That is to say, my plan to “blog everyday for 60 days” has proven to be harder than I thought. On the plus side, no one cared enough to call me out for it. On the minus side, no one cared enough to call me out for it. It appears that life goes on, with or without my useless ramblings. (This theory still needs to be subjected to some controlled tests before we can say for sure).
Studio time is scheduled for the new record. Rehearsals again next week. I’m beyond ready to make this album, but we really need to reach our fundraising goal for it all to work out. Yeah, I’m a little stressed out these days.
Life has taught me over and over again, that nothing is ever simple or easy. And nothing ever happens exactly the way you want or expect it to. Still, I’m an optimist. We’re going to make a great new record together. I won’t accept any other outcome.
Eliot
Howdy,
Today I asked the good people on Facebook to give me song title ideas, and told them I’d pick my favorite and write a new song with it… and make a video.
Lots of good choices, but I picked Rick Reiley’s.
I wrote the song in about an hour, and have been spending the rest of the time trying to record and post it.
So here it is folks, an insta-song. Thanks for your help! Was fun. Maybe we should do it again soon.
Eliot
Dark Around The Edges
I’ve got a book of memory in my mind
I don’t even open anymore
I just run my fingers down the spine
And pace the living room floor
Do you ever go on back
Do you crack the seal and read
Do you wonder if I’m better now
Better than I used to be
Now the sunlight glows through my window
And I can see to find my way
But it’s dark around the edges
Dark around the edges these days
Summer wind turn to winter and
Skipped right over the fall
Your eyes were like stormy skies
Your hair the color of straw
I can still imagine your face
After all these years
But I can see it’s slipping away
They say everything disappears
Now the sunlight glows through my window
And I can see to find my way
But it’s dark around the edges
Dark around the edges these days
Welcome back unicorn ninjas and mango growers of the universe.
Here I go with another installment of ye olde blog (not the name of my blog).
Not that anyone is really paying attention, but the Supreme Court of the United States started hearing arguments today, pertaining to the legality of the Obama health care bill.
Apparently today’s arguments weren’t even about the law itself, but about The Supreme Court’s jurisdiction over a tax that hasn’t taken effect yet, or something like that. Tomorrow it gets real, as the kids say. Or said. Whatever.
There’s so much chest thumping and rah-rah rah in politics these days, it’s almost impossible to discuss any issue without some ideological knee-jerk reaction. I don’t care to wade into those rapids here. And I am admittedly not qualified to expound on the constitutionality of the individual mandate; but I will say that I’d like to live in a country where taking care of one-another is a national priority.
Some people argue that the United States was founded on Christian values. I don’t know if your Vacation Bible School was anything like mine, but I remember loving thy neighbor, and doing for the “least of these my brethren,” being pretty high up there. Ehh, Jesus was such a hippy.
I’m not taking a strong position on this one. I see valid points on both sides. But once again the bigger picture is lost, or worse, deliberately obscured. Some people think the free-market will solve all of our problems. Some people think a reformed government is our best bet. I think that simple answers are incredibly seductive, and often cynically used to manipulate people.
I have no prepackaged perspective to offer on this issue, but I’ll be following this case over the next few days. As one of the many uninsured americans, I find this to be an incredibly important decision. I welcome any comments you have.
Be well,
Eliot
Have you checked out my Kickstarter page yet?
