Mixing my new record is almost done and I’m starting to feel that anxiety that comes with putting yourself out there to the world. On one hand, I’m totally psyched about these new songs, these new recordings and getting back out there, playing music. On the other, I have these irrational fears that I’ve totally deluded myself into thinking I am capable of making art that anybody at all would appreciate. Maybe that’s just what comes with trying to make something meaningful in world – the possibility that it will be meaningless. Maybe that’s why it’s so exciting. Anyway, I don’t have anything clever or silly to say tonight. I thought I’d just be honest for a change. It’s so strange to live in a world where a very small minority of artists are practically worshiped (deservedly or not) and everyone else toils away in virtual obscurity. It doesn’t quite make sense. But then again, I’ve never had much use for an ordinary life. By the way, “toil” is almost my name spelled backwards, so there must not be much hope for me.
In another month I’ll offer a new batch of songs. I hope they speak to a few people. I hope someone dances to the album in their car. I hope someone makes out to it. Or cries. Or thinks about what matters to them most. I’m not gonna post this blog on Facebook, so I assume, if you’ve found it, you’re a misfit like me. So, if like me, you’re looking out at a world that makes you feel alone. If it seems like everyone else has it together and was invited to a party you never knew about. If you wonder how It is that so many people just go about their daily routine, seemingly unconcerned with the mess and wonder of living a unique fragile life… at least know, that I am just as lost and bewildered as you are. And every blog or song that I write is somehow an attempt to feel less isolated and crazy. Thanks so much for hanging out with me.
I love your guts,