Mixing my new record is almost done and I’m starting to feel that anxiety that comes with putting yourself out there to the world. On one hand, I’m totally psyched about these new songs, these new recordings and getting back out there, playing music. On the other, I have these irrational fears that I’ve totally deluded myself into thinking I am capable of making art that anybody at all would appreciate. Maybe that’s just what comes with trying to make something meaningful in world – the possibility that it will be meaningless. Maybe that’s why it’s so exciting. Anyway, I don’t have anything clever or silly to say tonight. I thought I’d just be honest for a change. It’s so strange to live in a world where a very small minority of artists are practically worshiped (deservedly or not) and everyone else toils away in virtual obscurity. It doesn’t quite make sense. But then again, I’ve never had much use for an ordinary life. By the way, “toil” is almost my name spelled backwards, so there must not be much hope for me.
In another month I’ll offer a new batch of songs. I hope they speak to a few people. I hope someone dances to the album in their car. I hope someone makes out to it. Or cries. Or thinks about what matters to them most. I’m not gonna post this blog on Facebook, so I assume, if you’ve found it, you’re a misfit like me. So, if like me, you’re looking out at a world that makes you feel alone. If it seems like everyone else has it together and was invited to a party you never knew about. If you wonder how It is that so many people just go about their daily routine, seemingly unconcerned with the mess and wonder of living a unique fragile life… at least know, that I am just as lost and bewildered as you are. And every blog or song that I write is somehow an attempt to feel less isolated and crazy. Thanks so much for hanging out with me.
I love your guts,
eliot
I Don't Have The Words 
well first of all this was my favorite blog post so far. i’m going to assume not everyone will see it, so i’m going to answer honestly….
there must not be any accidents in this world. because i was just thinking about my new project i have planned, and it has me as scared as you have described. who will care? will it be worthy? worthy of what? are those others that people call worthy so worthy anyway? who cares about my little vision?
i started wiffledust something like 17 years ago. i thought there was good stuff out there that people would never see or hear if someone didn’t pretty much force them. i was right, and there is alot of good stuff out there that needs to be heard and seen. but there’s not alot of great stuff out there. fun, yes. thought provoking, yes. interesting, yes. great, no. i think you have not only one, and not only two great songs. of the artists i’ve met in all that time, i’ve thought that about maybe 5 people max. so for what my little opinion is worth out there in the winter night, i think you sometimes feel lonely in your art, because your talent isn’t common. and your life won’t be either. but those are so often the people who can touch the hearts of so many. but only if they put it out there. and you are. i’m happy you are.
thanks for the post, eliot. this misfit needed it tonight. sorry about the long winded part. that might be due to the thunder snow!
Thank you so much. Very kind words indeed. It means more than you probably know.
More than two misfits here now and I am sure we are fitting together like pieces of a puzzle.. ergo no longer misfits.. just members of a fantastic group that sees things differently! 😀
A great blog that went PLONK by the way.. not silent at all!
That reminds of a famous zen poem by Basho
The old pond,
A frog jumps in:
Plop!
Thanks Michelle, for coming back again and again!
Misfit number 3 here! Feeling just as lost and lonely as you are. But I have this pretty awesome band called The Brilliant Inventions to listen to when I’m lost. They always seem to have the words, even when I don’t. 🙂
Hi Steen,
Good thing we have each other to keep company. THANK YOU.
To answer your question — yeah, it does make a sound if a blog falls in the forest without being posted on facebook!
When I read your blog last night, it struck a chord with me; I, too, feel like a misfit sometimes. Due to a personal awareness that I have developed over the past year, I have started to sometimes feel like I don’t belong in my community. I also understand what it feels like to worry that no one will like a song that you write. I tend to keep my songs to myself — they’re very personal, and I’ve only shared them with a couple of people.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that you’re not alone feeling this way. I admire you for having the courage to write this blog and for hitting the submit button!
Thanks Jen. Glad this “struck a chord.” Guess that’s what we’re all hoping for huh? I appreciate it.
Thanks for that post Eliot. My husband died 2 years ago and I’ve been wandering around lost and bewildered ever since, feeling so disconnected from the hubbub of the happy people.
Susan,
I am so sorry. Now I just feel like whiner. I have no idea how hard that must be. Thanks for commenting, it’s very brave of you.
And furthermore it’s music that’s been my salvation so please keep making it.
hey, susan. i don’t know you, and know you don’t know me. but i’m a little farther along on the same road you’re on. i’m so very sorry for your loss. if you need to talk to someone who gets it, please feel free to find me. lisa@wiffledustonline.com. just put eliot ‘s blog or something like that in the subject line.
Eliot please don’t feel like a whiner. If you weren’t such a mindful guy your music wouldn’t be so good and then what would I have for comfort?
Lisa Thanks for your kind words. Somebody who gets it is a godsend.