Please Mr. Postman

One of the never-ending joys of being an independent artist, is keeping up the very thrilling and endlessly fascinating, mailing list. I should probably call it an emailing list, right? I can’t even remember how to send analog mail anymore. And I’ve recently given up paper for lent. No, I’m not Catholic, which explains why I don’t know when lent is, but I’m giving it up because they crucified the Baby Jesus. How could anyone do that to a baby? No wonder the Christians are still so angry. No matter how many parties they throw, tea or no tea, It’s probably not enough to make up for what they did to that baby.

But, so, yeah, keeping up the mailing list kinda sucks. It’s actually way more work than it  might seem. But it has to be done, if I want to keep living this lavish rock star life of mine. Right now I’m still using The Brilliant Inventions website and mailing list program designed by my good friend David McDonald over there at He’s a bad ass. You should hire them to make your website, because it will rock your face off, then put it back on again, then rock it back off, then make you a sandwich.

I really don’t mind the work it takes to craft these amazing emails before I scatter them across cyberspace like a dandelion impersonating a candle on Pavarotti’s birthday cake. But no matter how good the email is. No matter what exciting news I have to share, or secrets I reveal, there are always a few people who decide to unsubscribe from the mailing list, right after they get the latest update. Sure, it might only be two out of two thousand, but guess what I focus on? That’s right, the Baby Jesus and the two people who unsubscribed.

I probably need to work on that whole “accentuate the positive” bit a little more.


This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Please Mr. Postman

  1. John Seay says:

    don’t unsubscribe me. ta ta.

  2. eliotjames says:

    I thought this blog was really funny. I read it aloud to Astrid and she just looked at me with this blank expression. Not even a smile. Since this is the only comment I got, I have to assume most people felt the same way. But on the bright side, at least I can entertain myself. Grumble, grumble, grumble.

  3. Barb says:

    I thought it was really funny too….
    though you do know that they didn’t crucify Jesus when he was a baby, right?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s