I was listening to the radio yesterday and learned that the giant squid has the largest eyes in the animal kingdom. First of all, I though the giant squid was a mythological creature, or maybe a wrestling move; not just rarely seen, like the unicorn. Turns out I was wrong. Real animal. And the eyes! The eyes are as big as basketballs! Wild. I’m not entirely sure why, but this makes me feel a little uneasy.

There’s also something called the colossal squid. Seriously? The colossal squid?

But that’s not the worst of it. Here are the horror movie facts I discovered in my extensive web research:

Unlike the giant squid, whose arms and tentacles only have suckers lined with small teeth, the colossal squid’s limbs are also equipped with sharp hooks: some swivelling, others three-pointed.

What the hell!? SOME swiveling? The next time someone talks about going “back to nature,” I’d like you to remind them of the these oversized underwater killings machines.

Also, all polar bears are left handed. I didn’t even know they were literate.

Happy Friday,

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6 Responses to Calamartians

  1. tentacles, suckers, eyes, teeth, all underwater. these is the real horror story of the titanic. and to think people swim in the ocean when they could swim in a pool you can see through loaded with clorox! as for the polar bears, i did know that but only cuz i’m a south paw myself and discussed this with them at the convention.

  2. Gordon Nash says:

    I was reading about the same research. the theory is that they have the giant eyes to spot the Sperm Whales that eat them. I want a pet Colossal Squid. I’ll name him Cthulhu.

    • eliotjames says:

      That’s right. I heard that part too. For some reason it didn’t interest me nearly as much as just the fact of the huge eyes. I suppose I’m more intrigued by the “how could be?” than the “why is it so?” Questions that can be answered aren’t nearly as interesting. Now a pet colossal squid! Now, that’s fun.

  3. i heard that story too, Eliot. Not quite a driveway moment, but interesting. Then, this morning, did you hear the story on Morning Edition about the documentary about the high end sushi chef? He massages the octopi because otherwise, they’re kind of tough and rubbery, esp due to the suction cups. Ew. I don’t eat suction cups. Even massaged ones.

    Thanks for blogging every day for three days. That’s 5%, right?


    • eliotjames says:

      Cool. I missed that one, but I’ve heard about the documentary. I definitely want to see it. I love sushi. Maybe not suction cups, but who knows!

      Thanks for the comment. I’ll try to come up with something to say tomorrow. I have no idea what though.

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